


It's Been a Long, Long Time

by rogersbf



Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: 5+1 Things, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Spoilers, Dancing, Fluff, M/M, it's so soft
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-17
Updated: 2019-05-17
Packaged: 2020-03-06 15:04:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,558
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18853486
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rogersbf/pseuds/rogersbf
Summary: 5 times Bucky asked Steve to dance + 1 time Steve asked Bucky





	It's Been a Long, Long Time

**Author's Note:**

> If you haven't seen Avengers: Endgame yet then you may not want to read this yet!  
> Anyways, I wrote this for one of my [best friends](https://userpeterparker.tumblr.com/) ever <3

_"Dance with me."_

Steve glances up from his sketchpad and towards the direction the soft voice came from. Bucky is standing next to their radio, his back to Steve as he fiddles with it and music fills their tiny apartment. 

The music was already too upbeat for Steve to possibly attempt at being successful, and as Bucky turned back around, a grin spreading across his face, Steve returned his attention to his sketchpad. 

"Dance with yourself, Buck." Steve mutters, barely audible over the swing music that Bucky turned up a little louder as he did just that.

"Don't know why you bother sayin' that, when we both know I will. But that wasn't what I said." Bucky says, undeterred as he makes his way across their bare living room. Stopping in front of the couch and nudging Steve's leg with his own foot, he held his hand out while he continued to swing to the beat.

"C'mon, Steve." Bucky says softly, eyes always shining with the hope that Steve will join him every time he asks Steve to dance. He's never once said yes, no matter how much Bucky wheedled.

"No. Don't know why you bother, when we both know that I can't dance." Steve grouses, not looking up as he hunches his shoulders more. He can already feel the heat rushing to his face, whether out of anger or embarrassment he can't say, especially as a silence grows between them.

Steve knows how the argument is going to play out, it always ends the same way. Bucky will tell him he can teach him, that it's no big deal. Steve will get defensive and decline. Bucky will continue to push, Steve will snap at him, they'll move on.

It's happened several times before, and despite how much Steve wishes he could just say yes, he can't. He _can't._

Steve is barely 90 lbs soaking wet, his spine is crooked, his asthma could flare up, flat feet; not to mention two left feet while he's at it.

As much as Steve wants to say yes, he can't. Not just because of all the things that plague him, but also because Steve knows that it's because Bucky wants to go out and won't leave Steve alone.

He'd rather be dancing with a pretty dame, and he's stuck in their rundown, small apartment, on a summer night, because Steve had finally just gotten over another fever two days before.

As much as Steve wants to say yes, he can't.

Steve glances back up as the silence lasts and Bucky just stares at him. He's dropped his hand and just gives Steve a small, almost sad, smile and nods to himself. 

"Okay, Stevie." He murmurs to himself before he turns back to the radio, turns it off, and heads off down the hall to their bedroom.

Steve frowns as he watches Bucky go, not putting up the same fight he usually would. Opening his mouth to call out to him, nothing comes out. The only sounds are of the wind blowing in through the opened window and of their neighbors going about their business. 

Closing his mouth and sighing heavily, Steve looks back down at the nearly finished sketch he'd started long before Bucky had gotten home from work.

The two of them were dancing, relaxed and happy. It wasn't to what Steve saw Bucky usually dance to when he dragged him along on a rare night out when he scored them a double date, or even what he hummed and dance to at home by himself.

It was a slow song, the two of them close, with Bucky taking the lead. In the drawing, it didn't matter that Steve wasn't some dame that Bucky could pick up if he wanted without even trying. But after all, that's not how it was, so he just can't say yes.

_Never thought that you would be_  
standing here so close to me  
there's so much I feel that I should say  
but words can wait until some other day 

Steve could still feel his heart beating wildly in his chest as he lay in bed.

He was finally given a chance.

The luck at the expo had won out and he was going to be able to serve. 

Letting out a soft sigh, Steve couldn't keep the smile off his face as he gazed up in the dark at the ceiling. He couldn't wait to tell Bucky.

No… He couldn't tell him. Bucky would just argue with him, possibly try to find a way to keep him home, pushing the argument they had before he left to dance with the girls that there was plenty of other things he could do to contribute to the war effort while staying in Brooklyn. Even if he didn’t do that, Steve knew that Bucky wouldn’t be thrilled with the news.

Letting out a heavier sigh, Steve feels his heart settle down as he rolls onto his side, facing the wall and the end of the possibilities he had if he told Bucky.

So he wouldn't. He'd keep it a secret until he could prove himself. No harm done. Bucky shipped out the next morning anyway. No need to worry him before and while he's gone.

Closing his eyes and attempting to fall asleep, he doesn't know how long he's been laying there before the rattle of their front door opening wakes him.

Hearing it shut and the sound of boots clunking on the floor, it doesn't take long for Bucky to make it back to their bedroom. 

Sucking in a breath as the bed dips as Bucky sits on the side, Steve pretends to be asleep. He was before Bucky came home, and he doesn't really want to hear him ask him how his latest attempt went at enlisting. 

Or even worse, hear how the dancing went with the girls. To hear how great a time he had and maybe it would have been better if Steve tagged along to finish out the their double date.

Not that Bucky would want him there for any other reason.

Feeling the bed dip more as Bucky leans over, putting a hand on his shoulder as his back faces him.

_"Steve?"_ Bucky whispers but doesn't press more beyond that.

Steve opens his eyes and only continues to stare at the wall, a twist in his stomach as he ignores Bucky and pretends to be asleep; being a coward once more when it comes to how he feels about Bucky and not being able to tell him.

The fear of losing him too much, even if he ships out tomorrow, with the possibility he'll never see him again.

Closing his eyes once more, Steve holds in a ragged breath as Bucky sighs behind him and takes his hand back. Feeling Bucky get off the bed and hear him cross the room to his own side to undress and put his things away, Steve swallows before burying half his face in his pillow.

He's almost asleep again before he feels the bed dip once more and warmth at his back as an arm wraps around him and pulls him close.

_"Wish you coulda danced with me tonight, Stevie…"_ Bucky whispers to what he thinks is just himself. Burying his face lightly in sleep soft hair, Bucky let's out a soft sigh as he drifts off, leaving Steve more awake than ever.

_Kiss me once, then kiss me twice_  
Then kiss me once again  
It's been a long, long time 

Bucky looks up as Steve walks up to the bar, “See? Told you. They were all idiots.” Bucky says as he takes a sip from his glass, setting it back down on the bar as Steve takes the seat next to him.

“How ‘bout you? You ready to follow _Captain America_ into the jaws of death?” Steve asks, looking over at him, as he settles into his seat.

Bucky smirks with a slight shake of his head, “Hell no.That little guy from Brooklyn, who was too dumb to not run away from a fight.” Bucky swallows, holding back a grin as he looks back up at Steve. “I’m following him.”

Taking another drink, catching the smile that fights to stay off Steve’s face as he turns to get his own drink, Bucky leans forward and points over his shoulder to one of the USO tour posters on the wall. “But you’re keeping the outfit, right?”

Steve turns his attention back to him, eyeing him for a moment before cocking an eyebrow and turning towards the poster himself, “You know what? It’s kind of growing on me.” 

Bucky nods to himself and leans back in his seat as the singing from the other room fades, turning and rising to his feet as Agent Carter enters, feeling Steve do the same beside him.

It’s not a surprise to see why the room fell silent as soon as she entered; she’s stunning. 

“Captain.” She greets curtly and enters further once Steve answers with his own: “Agent Carter.”

All Bucky can do is stare, eyeing her up and down as she stops in front of Steve, adding his own, “Ma’am.” Nodding with a polite smile as she turns her attention his way.

The smile fades as soon as she looks back to Steve.

“Howard has some equipment for you to try. Tomorrow morning?” She asks, all of her attention on Steve, Steve’s full attention on her, and so is Bucky’s.

He glances towards Steve as he answers, realizing he has no right or place to be present, or at least, that's the way it feels.

“Sounds good.” Steve answers, eyes still focused on Peggy. 

Gaze falling towards the floor, Bucky doesn’t miss the way he looks at Peggy in her dress. And he must be praying for more pain because he glances between the two of them, heart sinking in silence as his gazes falls back to the floor a second time.

It's when he steps in that it really confirms his place.

Peggy looks back to where the Howling Commandos are back to singing and drinking, “I see your top squad is prepping for duty.” She comments, eyes focused on Steve’s when she turns back.

Glancing over his shoulder towards his team, a grin spreads across Bucky’s face as he turns back towards her, “You don’t like music?”

It does nothing to break the connection between the two in front of him. It’s like he’s not even there.

“I do, actually.” Peggy says, eyeing Steve as she continues, “I might even, when this is all over, go dancing.”

The smile has long faded from his face, he knows it's a losing battle, but Bucky can’t stop the words from coming out of his mouth, to only prove the point to himself further, “Then what are we waiting for?”

_“The right partner.”_

“0800, Captain.” Peggy says as she turns and leaves them alone without a glance back, leaving Steve starstruck.

“Yes, Ma’am. I’ll be there.” Steve says as he glances down at his feet and then watches her leave.

Bucky can’t take his eyes off her as she leaves, hurt radiating all over before he schools his expression, plasters a smile on, and turns back to Steve. “I’m invisible.”

“I-I’m turning into you. Its- its a horrible dream.” Bucky stutters as he glances around, unable to look at Steve. He nods to himself, confirming to himself that the situation just happened, that he was invisible. Not to Peggy, but to Steve. Licking his lips, he focuses on the wall in front of him as Steve pats him on the shoulder.

“Don’t take it so hard.” Steve teases, finally looking at him as he turns back towards the bar, “Maybe she’s got a friend.”

Bucky turns back towards the bar and takes his seat beside Steve. The teasing lingering over him as it makes his stomach churn. _Yeah, but the difference is that none of those girls ever mattered. It was you, it was always you._ Bucky thinks to himself as he downs the rest of his drink, feeling it burn on the way down. It doesn’t seem to matter that this was his sixth drink, he can’t seem to get drunk.

And as Steve continues on chatting beside him, Bucky wishes he could do nothing more. He knows he should be joking back, taking it as no big deal and being happy for him. But it only sits heavier and heavier in his stomach the longer they sit there, the more they drink, the later it gets and the more people that leave.

He knows he should be listening to Steve go on about some time or another that happened in the past, but he can’t stop the words from coming out of his mouth, and as soon as they do, he feels heat rush to his face. _“Dance with me, Steve.”_

Having been interrupted, Steve stops telling his story and frowns slightly as he focuses on Bucky, not sure he heard him right, “What was that, Buck?”

Bucky swallows the lump growing in his throat and turns to face him, clenching his hands into fists as he repeats himself, “Dance with me… Steve.” The confidence fading the second time, he watches the frown on Steve’s face grow deeper as he considers his request.

Letting out a soft sigh, Steve shakes his head slightly before reaching out to touch Bucky’s hand, before thinking better of it and stopping just shy of doing it. “Buck, I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

Just like that, that's all it takes to confirm Bucky's assumptions. To see why Steve has never once said yes to him, not in the past, and especially not now. Just because it confirms everything, doesn't mean it's any easier to swallow. 

Trying for a smile, but stopping and looking down at the bar as his lips tremble slightly, Bucky nods before grabbing his drink and finishing the rest of it. Putting the empty glass down a little more harshly than he intends, Bucky nods before rising, "Yeah, I get it, Stevie. Better to save yourself for the right partner." He murmurs. It's not even said with all the torment he feels inside, because that wouldn't be fair of him. He should be happy for his best friend, and if what he needs are a best pal and a wingman, then that's what he'll be.

Feeling the concern radiate from him, Bucky doesn't even need to look up to see the frown scrunching up Steve's whole face. Feeling a hand being placed on his shoulder now, seeing Steve about to go and say something, Bucky shrugs his hand off gently as he stands, not holding his gaze as he places money on the counter before turning and leaving without a word.

He knows it's not fair to leave Steve hanging like that, to have him be concerned. But even after everything that he endured, he didn't know a heart breaking in two could be the worst kind of pain of all.

_Haven't felt like this, my dear_  
Since can't remember when  
It's been a long, long time 

Steve watches as his neighbor turns with a smile and heads down the hall, carrying her laundry as she heads down the stairs, leaving him alone.

It isn't until she pointed it out that he can begin to hear the music coming from his apartment clearly. It only deepens the frown on his face as he turns his ear towards his door, picking up on a melody that was almost familiar before he crashed into the ice.

However, it wasn't until he woke up 70 years later that he had heard this song, one written when the war had been won and over. One where loved ones could be together again.

The first thought he had when he'd heard it hadn't even been about a dance he had promised, but to the ones he never said yes to.

The ones asked with an almost shy grin the more he thinks about it, the times they were home alone, the times he must have missed when being told they were going out.

But there was one time that stood out more than the rest, the one time he brushed it off as something else, but now knows it was something more, even if asked on the edge of sleep.

_The sound of laughter echoes quietly around their camp, puffs of air forming in the night, mostly illuminated by the small fire they have going._

_It's nearly impossible to keep the small smile from Steve's face. Despite the cold that bites at his skin, that he ultimately can't feel with the serum that flows through his veins. Steve never could have imagined just a few months ago that he would be here. Sitting around his own squad, the Howling Commandos, doing his part to take down Hydra._

_"Jesus, gonna freeze to death before we get where we're goin'."_

_But the most important part? Bucky, being there by his side._

_Turning his attention to his best friend as he takes a seat to his right, Steve's smile only grows as he nudges him with a shoulder before tossing an arm around both of Bucky's, jostling him as he pulls him closer._

_"Can't have that, need my best pal by my side."_

_The SSR had gathered intel of a train carrying Hydra operatives and equipment just north of where they are tomorrow. In order to keep ahead, Steve and the Commandos decided to wait it out and be prepared for when the train came by._

_Feeling a shiver go through his body, Steve only pulls Bucky closer as he tries for a grin and can’t find it within himself to push away. “Yeah, ‘cause you’d be so helpless without me.”_

_Chuckling and burying his face in soft, brown curls, Steve sighs softly before he looks back towards the rest of their team as they continue to chat in the winter night stillness. “Well, that would be one thing, yeah. I’m always at my best when you’re with me.”_

_When Bucky says nothing and only shivers harder, Steve rubs a hand up and down his arm, feeling his head drop against his shoulder. Saying nothing more himself, Steve just lets the warmth he feels from the evening flow through him. He couldn’t ask for a better team. There was never anything else he needed as long as Bucky was by his side._

_Waiting until the rest of his men head off to sleep, planning to take the first watch himself, Steve turns towards the sleeping Bucky slumped against him. Shifting his arm around his shoulders and using his other to secure him under his knees, Steve lifts him in his arms as he stands. Holding him close and heading towards their tent, he almost trips as Bucky curls into his embrace, grabbing onto the front of his uniform._

__“Should… Dance with me… Stevie,”_ Bucky mutters, his breath puffing out into the chilled air. _

_Wishing for once in his life that he could say yes, give in and dance with Bucky, to have this with him, to make up for all the times Steve has said no. But now isn’t the time. Not when he should let Bucky sleep, and when he promised to watch over the rest of his men._

_Holding Bucky closer, Steve leans down to bury his face in his hair, placing a soft kiss there in replacement of an answer as he opens up the tent and puts Bucky down. Covering him up and making sure he’s still asleep, watching his chest rise and fall, Steve gently brushes hair away from his forehead. “After this mission, pal. I promise. We’ll have that dance.” Steve murmurs to unlistening ears. Unable to wipe the rueful smile from his face, Steve leaves Bucky to sleep and takes his post to keep watch._

_It isn’t until the next day, once the mission is over, that Steve hates himself and is forced to live with his biggest regrets. For not sending Bucky home after saving him at Azzano. For not being able to reach further, to save him from falling. For never saying yes at every opportunity to dance with him._

Steve turns away from his door and heads back down and outside the building. Whoever, or whatever, was waiting for him inside his apartment wouldn’t get him walking in through the front door.

Climbing up the fire escape on the side of the building, Steve eases open the window and climbs through. Heading down the hall, grabbing his shield that was left untouched, he makes his way towards the living room as the song stops before beginning to play again.

It only hurts more the louder it gets.

_You'll never know how many dreams_  
I've dreamed about you  
Or just how empty they all seemed without you 

For the first time since the 1940s, Bucky feels like dancing. Having been in Wakanda and receiving help from T'Challa and Shuri with everything in his mind, he feels more clear, and even, happy then he has in years.

However, he doesn't want to just dance with anyone, or for any reason.

He wants to dance with Steve.

Checking the calendar he has pinned to the wall of his hut, Bucky frowns as he checks for the next probable visit from Steve. It's two weeks away, and with a heavy heart Bucky takes a seat on his cot as he runs his hand through his hair.

Two weeks seems like an eternity with all the free time Bucky has to himself. But it isn't like two weeks means he won't see Steve at all. They skype at least every other day if given the chance.

In fact, Bucky’s only distracted from his thoughts by the time Steve is trying to skype him. 

_How long had he been zoning out?_

Taking a seat on the edge of his cot, he settles back as he accepts the call, chewing his bottom lip before the call connects and Steve’s face appears before him.

“Steve.” Bucky sighs in a breath of relief, a smile spreading across his face as Steve smiles back at him.

“Hey, Buck. How’re you doin’?” Steve asks as he runs a hand through his hair, settling back into the chair he’s sitting in, tension bleeding out of his shoulders.

Smile fading slightly, Bucky shrugs his left shoulder, “Better off than you, probably, punk.” 

He earns a laugh for that, and if that isn’t music to his ears. Which leads him to ask how him, Sam, Natasha, and Wanda are. Even after hearing that they are okay, that they are safe, it still doesn’t stop him from worrying. God, he wished more than anything that Steve could be there with him now. To know he was safe and home with him. Well… not home, Steve didn’t see him that way, but as long as he was there with him, that's all Bucky would ask for.

That's why it hurts even more when he asks: “Hey, is it possible for me to talk to Sam right now?”

Chewing his lip out of nervous habit once more, he watches as Steve’s face flashes with something already causing his stomach to twist, before a small smile spreads across his face as he nods.

Steve becomes blurry as he stands and walks through the ship calling out for Sam. Watching as Steve turns to a view of the ceiling as Sam’s footsteps grow closer, Bucky can only just stifle a nervous laugh as he hears their conversation.

“What’s up? Pretty boy already get tired of you?” Bucky can just hear the smug grin in Sam’s voice.

“No, I-... He wants to talk to you.” Steve grumbles, and the screen shows the blurs of Steve handing the tablet off to Sam before he walks away, muttering something to himself which Bucky can’t hear.

Bucky watches as Sam frowns at Steve’s retreating form before he turns his gap-toothed grin towards him, “What’s up, goat man?” God he loves Sam, but it doesn’t do much to settle the nerves from settling in his stomach.

“Hey, Sam.” Bucky says hoarsely, the words catching in his throat. Maybe this already wasn’t a good idea. Maybe he should have just continued talking to Steve, instead having left him feeling he didn’t want to talk to him.

For all of Sam’s teasing, he glances over his shoulder before he moves to sit down on the ship, his carefree attitude set aside as a serious look takes its place. “Something wrong, Bucky?”

Bucky takes in a heavy breath as he tries to weigh his options. To ask Sam what he wanted, for his help, or to just shrug it off and insult him and knowing Sam would probably let it slide. As far as their bickering goes, Bucky couldn’t imagine his life without Sam, he’s one of his best friends.

Which is why Bucky’s startled as his next words come out in a rush as he exhales, “Sam, I need your help.” 

***

Two weeks have gone by in the blink of an eye.

But to Steve it could have been two months. Hell, even two years. 

It’s not even like he hasn’t talked to Bucky within those two weeks.

But skyping, calling, texting, it’s not the same as being able to reach out and touch him, knowing that he’s there in front of him. Especially after having him worry about having asked to talk to Sam.

Steve knows that it could have been nothing, Sam had reassured him as much afterwards, and after that he had left it alone, it was none of his business. 

But ever since that day, every interaction he’d had with Bucky almost seemed off.

Letting out a sigh as he shakes those thoughts from his head, he heads down the ramp of the quinjet as soon as it sets down, unable to help the small grin from spreading on his face.

“Well, someone’s excited to be back.”

The comment does nothing to make his smile fade, but it does add a blush to his face as he glances at Sam as he comes up on his right. “So? Something wrong with that?”

Watching the laugh bubble up and out of his friend, Steve rolls his eyes as Sam places a hand on his shoulder, “Nah, man. It’s really good to see you so happy.”

Going to say more, his train of thought is lost at the sight of T’Challa, Shuri, and Okoye waiting on the launch pad in front of him. His grin diminishes in the slightest as Sam squeezes his shoulder, both seeing Bucky not waiting there.

Schooling his expression, Steve turns his attention to his team and T’Challa as they already begin talking about what they’ve missed and about the debriefing they were heading to now. Steve only nods and follows along, answering when needing to before his full attention turns to Shuri as she walks up beside him, a kind smirk on her face. “I know that you’re looking for him. He’s excited you’re here, Steve. Just give him time.”

Unwilling to admit to himself that her words were what he needed, he gives her a grateful nod and a smile, before she turns to catch up to Sam to talk about how she could, and already has, made improvements to his wings if he would only be willing to test them out.

It isn’t until after their meeting and when they’re on their way to dinner, that Steve feels the disappointment creep in once more. He still hasn’t seen Bucky, which is fine, Steve can give him his space, but if he could just hear him say he was okay, that would be enough.

Letting out a heavy sigh, Steve messes with his tie as he heads to meet up with Sam for dinner. He wasn't told exactly what the occasion was beyond that he needed to dress formally. 

Honestly, it's the last thing he wants to do, but it'd be rude to not attend.

Feeling a hand on his shoulder give a squeeze, he lets out another sigh as he leaves his tie alone and closes his eyes. "You ready, Sam?"

“I’m always ready, man. Are you?” Sam chuckles as he comes around and eyes Steve, light concern shining in his eyes. 

Letting out a soft sigh, Steve shrugs as a rueful smile pulls up on his face, “Always.” Steve says, leaving off the _have to be._

Nodding, Sam throws his arm around Steve’s shoulders as he begins to guide them towards wherever they're supposed to be heading.

Steve’s gaze lingers on the ground as he lets Sam lead him, only half listening to the story he began telling. It isn’t until Sam has come to a stop beside him, the story having come to an end, that Steve blinks and squints as he looks up. 

A cool breeze hits his face, finally dawning on Steve that they are outside, the light slowly fading as the sun sets in the distance. Letting out another sigh, Steve turns to Sam, unable to keep the confused frown from his face. It isn’t until he takes another glance around before he realizes where they are. “Sam, what’re we doing out here?”

“He wants to see you, Steve. Has this whole time. He just wanted to wait for the right moment.” Sam murmurs, a smile spreading across his face as he squeezes Steve’s shoulder.

Steve shakes his head, swallows the lump growing in his throat. “I- What about the dinner?” Steve asks, letting out a shaky laugh as he rubs at his face. 

Sam pulls Steve into a hug, holding him tight as he rolls his eyes, “T’Challa thought you might ask, he says not to worry, besides, Natasha, Wanda, and I will be there. You deserve to have this night off, Steve. You deserve this.”

Hugging Sam close, patting him on the back once before letting him go, Steve can feel his smile waver as he feels the moisture growing in his eyes. “Okay. Okay…” Steve chuckles as he wipes at his eyes and nods to him.

Feeling Sam watch him for a moment, a soft smile on his face, he squeezes Steve’s arm affectionately before he turns to head back, leaving Steve to turn towards the opposite direction and head over the top of the hill.

The sight Steve sees once he reaches the top of the hill, leaves him breathless, butterflies fluttering in his stomach that feel as if they were threatening to come up as he covers his mouth.

The sun has set by that point, leaving the night sky dark and shining above him. That sight alone is enough to leave him starstruck. He can’t remember the last time he was able to see so many stars in the sky above him. 

However it's what he sees once he looks down that leaves him wishing he had his sketch pad, wanting to capture the moment forever. Not that he could ever do it any justice.

The hut that Steve has come to call home more than any other place on earth is more familiar and comforting than anything else. But more than that, Bucky is standing and pacing back and forth in the clearing below, oblivious to Steve’s presence. Just being able to see him is enough to bring tears to his eyes.

Before he knows what he’s doing, he’s moving to be there, with Bucky, because every second away feels like years. They’ve already spent enough time apart as it is.

Making his way down towards him, Steve takes in the soft, warm glow of the lights that are strung up in the tree, making everything seem like a dream. Feel like a dream.

Even when he gets closer, to notice the way Bucky is mumbling to himself, the suit he’s wearing nearly identical to his own, the nervous way he goes to run his right hand through his hair, before seeming to think better of it and cursing to himself.

Steve can hardly keep the smile from forming on his face as he watches him. If this is a dream, he never wants to wake up again, willing to spend another 70 years if it means he can stay here in this moment. But even if it were to break the dream, to have it all fall apart, Steve has to go and talk to him, to touch him and have to know if this is real.

So he does.

Walking forward and into the light, still having been unnoticed by the pacing super soldier, Steve sucks in a breath as he puts his hands in his pockets. “Bucky?”

Watching as he stops, shoulders drawing up in tension, Steve holds his breath as Bucky slowly turns around. He can hardly contain his smile as Bucky rushes forward, a blinding smile on his own face, as he pulls Steve into a one armed hug.

“Steve.” Bucky sighs softly, burying his face in the crook of his neck, pulling him closer. Steve hugs him back, squeezing him tight before gently rubbing a hand up and down his back.

“Hiya, Buck.” Steve murmurs, resting his head against Bucky’s, closing his eyes and content to just hold him, warmth flooding his chest as tears form in his eyes at the realization that this isn’t a dream sinks in.

Bucky chuckles softly as he pulls away just enough to look up at him, Steve smiles back at him as he brushes a few loose strands of hair out of his face. “You came.” Bucky says, eyes shining as he takes in the sight of Steve.

Now it’s Steve’s turn to laugh as he presses his forehead against his, “Of course I did, couldn’t leave my best guy. Not after Sam dragged me out here, telling me that you were waiting.”

Bucky snickers as he closes his eyes, letting out a contented sigh, nuzzling into Steve’s palm as Steve gently cups Bucky’s cheek.

Steve can feel the blush, before seeing it as Bucky’s face warms under his hand. “Yeah, but you didn’t have to stay.”

A concerned noise gets stuck in Steve’s throat as he examines Bucky’s face. Did he really think that Steve could ever leave him? Bucky’s the one constant thing in Steve’s life. Bucky is his home.

“I could never leave you, Buck. I’m with you till the end of the line.”

Bucky chokes back a sob as he pulls Steve impossibly closer, resting his head back on his shoulder. Steve lets him and continues once more to run a hand soothingly up and down his back.

He doesn’t know how long they’re standing there before Bucky clears his throat and gently ends their hug, looking up at him with a shy grin. “Well, I had this whole entire plan.” Bucky begins, glancing over his shoulder and around the warmly lit clearing.

Steve glances around as well, but only a moment later is his attention back on Bucky as he continues to speak, “Even had T’Challa and Shuri help too. T’Challa said he could distract you and come up with something so you wouldn’t suspect this. Then Shuri made these lights, solar powered and everything and even change like a mood ring?” Bucky mumbles, another blush on his face. 

It’s only then that Steve notices that the lights have been changing colors, not much since he’s been there, but have changed from an orange-ish yellow to a calmer blue. 

Bucky rubs his arm down his side to lift his sleeve to show the glowing bracelet around his wrist, before glancing up at the lights. “Shuri said that mood rings can’t actually express how a person’s feeling, but it’s more of a physiological change? Like your temperature?” Bucky explains as he rolls down his sleeve once more and smiles up at the lights, shining a brighter royal blue.

“Can’t remember what she said all the colors meant, but orange meant nerves, I think, and blue? Meant somethin’ like happiness.” Bucky mumbles as he glances back at Steve. Steve can still feel the tears threatening in his eyes, touched and amused as Bucky explains everything to him.

It releases the final ebbs of tension Steve himself had been feeling when Bucky tells him what blue usually indicates, telling and showing that he’s happy there with him.

“That’s awesome, Buck.” Steve murmurs, his smile growing soft, cupping Bucky’s cheeks in his hands.

Bucky smiles back, closing his eyes and letting himself just be held in the affection, before the lights above them begin to shift from blue, back to orange.

Glancing up above them, Steve frowns slightly before focusing back on Bucky, who’s looking at the ground and gently taking hold of Steve’s wrist and guiding his hand away. 

“Bucky?” Steve asks, unable to keep the concern from his voice as Bucky begins to chew his bottom lip.

“There’s- I gotta-” Bucky sighs before he turns and heads back towards the hut without looking back. 

Steve, standing there, left in nothing but his confusion and growing knot in is stomach, doesn’t know whether to follow or to leave. Did he do something? Had he been too much?

Steve doesn’t have much time to spiral in his thoughts as music begins to play out, filling the quiet night with a soft melody. One that hits Steve hard as he’s come to recognize it.

Spinning to look around him, swallowing around the lump in his throat, he nearly jumps at the light touch at his shoulder. Turning to find Bucky back by his side, nerves dancing across his expression, while also a set determination to his jaw, Steve blinks at him, his confusion only growing. “How?”

Bucky glances to the side, taking in a deep breath before exhaling softly, preparing himself it seems. “The day I asked to talk to Sam, I wanted to ask for his help… To set this all up. I asked him if he knew what kind of music you listened to, and he told me that Sharon could probably help with that, and he got in touch with her. She was able to go back to your old apartment. Sam said she’d found this song out on your record player, and I thought that maybe that you’d… I don’t know, you can just forget all of this, I’m sorry, Steve.” Bucky rambles, picking up speed the more nervous he becomes, the lights above them turn to a dark orange.

Taking a step forward, Steve takes a hold of Bucky’s arm, gently squeezing reassurance and guiding him to look at him. Keeping his expression calm and open, Steve searches Bucky’s face before pressing a soft kiss to his forehead. “Bucky, take a breath. You did all this? For me? What were you planning?” Steve asks quietly, keeping his eyes on him.

Watching him take a deep breath, closing his eyes, Bucky slowly tries to relax. When he opens his eyes again, the nerves are still there, but so is a soft, hesitant openness.

_“Dance with me, Stevie.”_

Steve barely hears the question, rather a soft plead, over the soft music playing around them. But it’s something he’s been waiting to hear since the last time he Bucky asked.

“Yeah, Buck. Of course.” Steve murmurs, already placing his hand on his shoulder and side. He’s been keeping Bucky long enough, denied him for just as long, despite Steve not knowing how to dance, he can take the lead and just let Bucky have this moment.

Bucky’s eyes grow wide, a blush rising on his cheeks as he stares up at him. Steve offers an affectionate smile back as he leans forward, pressing their foreheads gently together as he begins to rock them side to side as Bucky slowly puts his hand at Steve’s waist. 

“Steve-” Bucky murmurs, voice cracking as he closes his eyes, letting Steve hold him and lead them in a dance.

“Shh,” Steve shushes him, pressing a light kiss to his temple as he pulls him closer, “I’ve got you, Buck.” Steve murmurs, letting Bucky grab tight, feeling his shoulders shake as tears suddenly overwhelm him.

The colors of the lights above them change from the harsh orange, to a soft, warm pink. 

“Bucky?” Steve asks, eyes following the glowing lights as they all change.

“It’s… I-” Bucky hiccups, clutching tighter to him, burying his face into Steve’s neck once more.

It doesn’t take a hard guess for Steve to take a guess. Gently, placing a hand at the back of his head instead of his shoulder, he presses another kiss to his hair. “I’ve got you, Bucky. I’ve got you and I’m never going to leave you again.”

_“I love you, Bucky.”_ Steve whispers in his ear, just barely audible above the music and the quiet sounds of the night.

Taking in a shaky breath, Bucky nuzzles closer, a shaky smile pulling on his face that Steve feels rather than sees. 

_“I love you too, Stevie.”_

Pressing a final kiss to Bucky’s head, Steve lets the silence stretch between them. One full of love and comfort that dances around them the longer they sway to the music that fills the night. The one that only ever made him think of Bucky, and as per the song’s title, it has been a long, long time.

And Steve plans to never waste another minute not remind Bucky that he loves him and will never leave him again.

_So kiss me once, then kiss me twice_  
Then kiss me once again  
It's been a long, long time 

Bucky takes in a breath as he watches Sam and Steve, cracking a small grin as Sam offers to go along with him.

It doesn't surprise him when Steve declines the offer. Even after everything he's been through, Steve still felt the need to do everything by himself. From the skinny little runt from a lifetime ago, to even now this is still the same Steve Bucky knew.

Or so he thought.

Looking up as Steve walked towards him, Bucky's smile fades the slightest bit from his face. Being honest with himself, he'd missed so much of his life. Having been on the run, having Steve choose him over his other friends, having so many people trust him based on Steve’s trust. Having to figure himself out and just when they thought he was able to put the fight behind him, he’d been snapped out of Steve’s life once again for five more years.

He’s missed so much, but one thing is still clear and true: Bucky has been in love with the punk since the first time he dragged him out of a back alley fight. 

Steve breaks him out of his thoughts as the familiar words come out of his mouth, and all they do is make his heart squeeze in his chest: “Don’t do anything stupid till I get back.”

Lips forming into the smile he can muster, Bucky smiles at Steve and shakes his head as the memory of the night of the Stark Expo come flooding over him. The last night he probably ever got to see his little Stevie ever again.

“How can I? You’re taking all the stupid with you.” Bucky quips back as Steve walks forward and pulls him into a hug, and Bucky hugs him back, no longer afraid he’ll break him. It’s all he can do to keep himself together, a feeling telling him Steve was going to take all the stupid with him, that he wouldn’t be coming back. That he wasn’t good enough.

Smile fading from his face, Bucky holds Steve tight. He knows what this is. It doesn’t stop it from hurting all the same. “I’m gonna miss you, buddy.” Bucky mutters as he releases Steve, looking at him, but no longer able to put the smile back into place.

“It’s gonna be okay, Buck.” Steve says, but even as he says it, it doesn’t reassure Bucky like Steve probably hoped it would. 

Not saying anything else, what is there that he could say? Bucky watches as Steve heads back over and onto the platform. Taking in a breath and sticking his hands back into his pockets, Bucky zones out before Bruce counting down reaches his ears and he watches as Steve vanishes.

“Five, four, three, two, one…” Even as Bruce counts down, flips the switch, it doesn’t settle any easier in his chest as Steve doesn’t return to where he once stood.

Even if he knew, that Steve was saying goodbye without even saying, it doesn’t stop the ache from building within him. Bucky nods as he lowers his gaze, listening as Sam and Bruce argue about Steve missing the jump point. That stubborn punk always did do whatever he set his mind too.

It isn’t until Sam is putting a hand on his shoulder, distress hidden behind a mask of calm that Bucky slowly shakes his head and opens his mouth to say… say what? That he knew and couldn’t stop him? That they, that _he_ , wasn’t good enough? Choking on the words building in his throat, he closes his mouth and shakes his head again. Feeling the reassuring squeeze as his eyes travel back to the ground, he shrugs Sam off before turning and walking away from him.

After all that time, after having found a new family, and Steve still left.

Letting out a shaky sigh as Bucky takes a seat on the concrete bench facing the lake, he closes his eyes and just lets everything wash over him. He hears Sam and Bruce come by, either wanting to talk, to get him to come home, to move on, he doesn’t know. He doesn’t answer anything they ask, not even catching what they say.

Bucky doesn’t even know how long he’s been sitting there, beyond the air growing cooler and the sun setting in the horizon. In fact, he wouldn’t have even noticed either of those things and more, until the sound of footsteps approaching brought him out of his head.

Taking in a shuddering breath, clearing his throat, he rubs at his face as he shakes his head, not glancing back at Sam. Not wanting to talk. Not wanting to move on. Not yet. “Not now, Sam… _Please_.” Bucky mutters, letting out a heavy sigh as he rests his head in his hands, leaning heavily on his knees.

A soft, deep rumble breaks Bucky from his thoughts as the chuckle grows louder. 

_“Well, I’ll be sure to let Sam know to give you your space.”_

Turning around, the gasp getting caught in his throat, Bucky is unable to stop the new tears from forming. He blinks multiple times, face scrunching as he shakes his head, unable to stop the frown from forming as he begins to glare, not at Sam, but at-

_“Steve?”_

His voice is barely more than a whisper, worried that he’ll break whatever this is, and being left alone once again. What kind of sick joke was his mind playing? Steve was gone, he’d missed the jump point, he’d left.

Yet there he was, standing there behind him, a look of regret and understanding flashing across his face. “Yeah, Buck. It’s me.” Steve promises, coming around and squatting in front of him, gently reaching forward and wiping at his tears. 

Shaking his head, closing his eyes and making more tears fall, he chews on his lip as he takes in a shuddering breath. When Steve goes to take his hand away, Bucky reaches out to stop him, nuzzling against his palm, struggling to stop his trembling.

“You… You didn’t-” Bucky mutters, shaking his head before opening his eyes and looking up at Steve.

Steve clucks his tongue sympathetically, putting a hand at the back of Bucky’s head and pulling him closer. Bucky clings to him, taking in another shaky breath, holding him close. “Are you… _My_ Steve? Or-” 

“It’s me, Buck. It’s me. We shared a dance back in Wakanda.” Steve promises, pressing a kiss into his hair.

Bucky nods as he squeezes tighter, “Why?” He mutters.

Snickering ruefully, Steve rubs a soothing hand down his back, “I know, I’m late. But I had to take care of something first. But I promise, I’m here now, and I’m not going anywhere, Buck. Never again.”

Sniffing and pulling away to look up at him, Bucky watches the nervous smile shine on his face, “What did you do?” he asks, wiping at his face.

Steve’s smile grows more sure and nervous all at once as he presses a kiss to his forehead. He misses Steve reaching into his pocket and pulling out a ring, a simple band with something engraved on it.

“Had to go back and get something I should have given to you for a long, long time.” Steve says, getting down on one knee and gazing up at him.

“Bucky, you’ve known me your whole life, and there is no one I would rather have by my side. I’m never going anywhere without you, ever again. I’m with you till the end of the line. If you’ll have me?” Steve promises, holding up the ring he’s holding that when Bucky glances at, has the inscription _till the end of the line_ on it. 

“Steve, I- Yes,” Bucky says breathless as Steve’s already slipping the ring on his hand.

Looking from the ring now sitting on his finger, to the blinding smile on Steve’s face, Bucky rushes forward and tackles him in a hug, pressing a kiss to the side of his face, rather than his lips.

“I love you, punk. When did you make these?” Bucky asks, smiling as he sits back and lets Steve sit up again and brush his hair out of his face.

“Back in the ‘40s, never told anyone who it was for, but I just…” Steve trails off, shrugging as he glances down to his own hand as he absently twists his own band around his finger.

“Steve…” Bucky whispers, more tears already filling his eyes. 

Shaking his head, Steve rises to his feet, offering a hand and pulling Bucky up as well. “There’s just one last thing I need to know.” Steve murmurs as he smiles at him.

“I already said yes, you dope.” Bucky chuckles pressing a light kiss to his nose, causing Steve to laugh softly himself.

“Not that,” Steve says, rolling his eyes affectionately.

“Then what?” Bucky snickers, eyes shining as he gazes at the love of his life.

_“Dance with me?”_

Heart swelling in his throat, Bucky still isn’t sure if this is real. If this isn’t some dream that his mind has created for him. He’s not even 100% sure that this isn’t a dream he’s having while being inside a cryo tank.

One thing he is sure of as he nods and Steve pulls him close, leading them once again in a slow dance to nothing more than the sounds of everything going on around them, is this: He has always loved Steve Rogers, and nothing will ever change that.

Especially not now, for as long as Steve says yes to a dance, or even asks for one himself.

**Author's Note:**

> come join me on [tumblr!](https://rogersbf.tumblr.com/)


End file.
